As leaders, we’re often caught in a relentless cycle of doing. The need to balance priorities, solve problems, lead change, and drive for impact in constantly changing conditions can leave little room for thinking, reflecting, or simply being. And yet, the idea of stepping away from all that ‘doing’ can feel indulgent, even irresponsible. But the truth is, the tiredness creeps in. For me, between leading Big Change through Covid, a period of strategic and brand evolution, parenting two young boys, and always being in motion, I realised I needed to pause and re-discover a creative space.

On reflection one of the biggest hurdles when choosing to go on a sabbatical was myself.  We had put a policy in place - I wasn’t the first one -  but is it selfish for me as a leader to take it up when there is so much to do, an ever growing need for change? Will people judge me negatively? This forced me to look more deeply at my role as a leader. Given my commitment to sharing power and co-creating change, I began to question whether my position and traditional leadership structures were at odds with the kind of transformation we’re working towards. 

Through honest conversations with wise people, I began to ask better questions, evolve my own leadership, and actively support the team to grow into theirs. It was this internal shift, alongside the juggle of life with a young family, that finally gave me permission to take time for myself. As a retreat, and as a reset.

It wasn’t easy. I knew that to truly commit, I needed to mark a date and stick to it. So, seven months ago, I circled 4th July in my calendar and began preparing. Over that time, I realised that the hardest part is letting go. I care deeply about the change we’re creating, and I had to remind myself that stepping away doesn’t mean stepping back.

In fact, it may be one of the most impactful things I can do for our collective success. If we truly believe, as I do, in collective leadership, then creating space for others to lead is essential. It’s a theme we explored in depth in our leadership insights report published earlier this year, recognising that lasting change depends on shared power and distributed leadership. The past year has been a pivotal year for us at Big Change, we’ve focused our role, clarified our impact model, looked to deepen our impact, and embraced new ways of working. We’ve built a strong, capable team, with each member stepping up to lead in their own area.

Conversations with other leaders, like the inspirational Vishal Talreja from Dream a Dream, have reminded me how common burnout is in this space. When you’re constantly navigating the unknown, always joining dots, the space to think creatively disappears. I’ve realised that clarity needs stillness. I felt pressure at first to make my sabbatical productive: a big adventure, a new initiative. But now, I’m giving myself permission to just be. To swim. To read. To be present, and enjoy unscheduled time. In a world that rewards always being on, taking time and space out feels quietly radical.

I know this time away will help me return with new rhythms, fresh perspective, and a deeper commitment to shaping an organisation built to last. There is a lot to look forward to on my return - we will be announcing the winners of this year’s Spark Awards, running our first Strive Retreat for Big Changemakers (an opportunity for our community of leaders to step back and connect in the beautiful nature of the Lake District) and reuniting with many of our global network during UN week in New York.

At Big Change, we’ve always believed in trust-based ways of working. That trust extends to our people too. Sabbaticals aren’t about stepping out, they’re about making space for reflection, growth, and long-term sustainability. Different people need different pauses. If we don't create space for rest, we risk losing the leaders needed to drive transformation. 

It has definitely sparked questions for me about how we in turn give the leaders we support the time and space to think big, to rest and to restore. Because, for us to spark lasting change together, we need the leaders to last.